Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
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i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
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He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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