Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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