Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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