What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
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He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
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My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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