he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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