no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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