i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize