i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize