It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
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I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
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If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I am one with the molecules
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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