My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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