if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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