im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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