I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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