my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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