grandma shit on top of the toilet
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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