I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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