billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize