well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
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our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
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My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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