i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver just had a heart attack.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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