I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize