is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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