i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize