Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
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and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
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When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize