It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
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They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize