shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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