If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
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Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
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This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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