Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize