it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
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the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
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I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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