I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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