I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Someone signed my nipple.
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