who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize