things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize