Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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