I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize