it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize