you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize