I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize