i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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