Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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