Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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