Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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