ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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