just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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