Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize