people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize