can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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