You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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