she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
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I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
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I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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