Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
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I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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