I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize